What You Need to Know if You're Attracted to Someone of the Same Sex
No matter what you’ve done or heard, you’re welcome at Bedford Alliance. We love you, and Jesus loves you. God loves you so much He sacrificed His only Son to have a relationship with you (John 3:16 and 1 John 4:8-10). Jesus died for us so we can live a new life.
Jesus loves you more than you could ever know. Jesus doesn’t just love a future version of you; He loves you exactly as you are right now. There is nothing you can do or stop doing to make Him love you more or less than He does right now. Jesus’ love for you has no prerequisites or requirements (Romans 5:8). Even if you hate Jesus or are mad at Him, Jesus loves you and wants what’s best for you. Love is at the core of everything Jesus taught.
If God Created and Loves Me, Why Was I Born This Way?
God didn’t single you out and say, “I want this person to suffer, so I’ll give them desires and forbid them to act on those desires.” In fact, the temptation to sin doesn’t come from God at all (James 1:13-15).
Adam and Eve’s original act of disobedience in Genesis 3 introduced sin into the human heart, and as a result, we’re all born sinners (Romans 5:12, Psalm 51:5).
Jesus doesn’t just love a future version of you; He loves you exactly as you are right now. We’re all born with a desire to sin. And it’s safe to say we all struggle with sexual temptation — whether that’s having sex with someone we’re not married to, having sex with someone of the same sex, watching porn, or experiencing lustful thoughts. Sexual sin is not a gay/straight issue. It’s a human issue born out of our sin nature.
The good news is Jesus gives us a way out. Jesus’ death and resurrection save us from the punishment, power, and eventually the presence of sin. God’s plan was never for us to suffer. Satan’s plan is for us to suffer, but Jesus came so we can have abundant life (John 10:10).
Why Is Sexual Sin Such a Big Deal?
If we’re all sinners, and all of us want to sin sexually, why can’t we just act on those desires? What’s the big deal?
God sets sexual sin apart from other types of sin because we commit sexual sin against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:12-20). He also knows that sexual sin causes us the most pain, regret, and shame.
God created boundaries around sex not to kill our fun, but to protect us. Sex is a gift from God, but when we misuse it, we get hurt, we hurt God, and we don’t experience God’s best for us.
How Do I Fight the Temptation?
The good news is when we have a relationship with Jesus we are not slaves to sin anymore. Jesus gives us power over sin (Romans 6). In Him, we’re “more than conquerors” and nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:31-39).
Not only does Jesus give us freedom from sin, He understands all the temptations we experience.
Jesus was tempted in every way that we are tempted, but He did not sin (Hebrews 4:15-16). He does not shame you or reject you because of your temptations and feelings.
Jesus was both fully God and fully man at the same time. He understands what you are going through. According to Hebrews 2:18, “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”
You are not alone. We are all tempted in some way. Being tempted is not a sin; acting on temptation is a sin. If a woman is tempted to have sex with someone who is not her husband, but she takes it to Jesus and doesn’t act on it, she has victory over that temptation. In the same way, if a woman is tempted to have sex with another woman, but she takes it to Jesus and doesn’t act on it, she has victory over that temptation. This is true for all men and women and for all sexual sin.
The Holy Spirit gives us the power to be self-controlled in the face of temptation (Galatians 5:22-23). And the apostle Paul teaches us that, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Beyond fighting individual moments of temptation, Jesus wants to heal and restore us. When we have a relationship with Him, He does not condemn us (Romans 8:1).
Healing and restoration start with confession and repentance. James, Jesus’ brother, instructs us to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…” (James 5:16).
We begin to step into the abundant life Jesus promised us with our salvation when we bring our struggles to Him and work through them in community. NewSpring is a place where it is OK not to be OK, but it’s not OK to stay that way. We would love to help you find people you can connect with, who will walk through this with you. You don’t have to hide, and you don’t have to feel stuck in your sin.
You are not defined by your sin or your sexuality (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). In Jesus, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Although it is often difficult to walk away from something you enjoy, there is no permanent joy outside of Jesus. Jesus wants what is best for you, and He wants you to experience a full life. You may not feel like surrendering your sexuality to Jesus, but Jesus doesn’t ask us to give something up without offering us more in return. The facts of Scripture are always greater than feelings. Ask Jesus to renew your mind, so that your feelings will line up with His facts (Romans 12:12).
When you surrender this area of your life to Jesus, He has greater things in store for you than you could ever ask or imagine.