Rehashing regrets is like riding a stationary bicycle. You’ll go round and round to the point of exhaustion, but don’t really get anywhere.
When someone dies, we’re often left with a sense of unfinished business, rehashing circumstances that could have played out differently. Maybe there are things you wish you could have said, or some things that would have been better left unsaid. How do you stop the Instagram video of regrets playing over and over in your head?
Writing a letter to the person you’re missing is one of the best ways to short circuit the relentless replay of what could have been. A letter:
- is a safe place to express your unfiltered thoughts. Good, bad, confused, relieved — every emotion is OK.
- can help you express yourself when you’re feeling stuck.
- is for your eyes only, or not. Your choice.
How you release the letter is up to you. You could shred it into a thousand pieces or attach it to a balloon and literally let it go.
I love to offer this kind of letter in the form of a prayer, asking the Lord to fix what I can’t. Psalm 62:8 reminds us that we can be honest with whatever we’re feeling: “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” No matter how deep your sorrow, God can be trusted.